Dear ants inhabiting my kitchen,
Seriously...could you leave, already? I mean come on. I understand that there's good stuff on the countertops sometimes and dirty dishes in the sink callin' your name and all. But still.
Don't you read the internet? There are pages upon pages of tips on how to get rid of you. I have followed all of that advice and none of it is working. I've tried to give you little "ant motels" to hang out in. Were they not decorated cute enough, or something?
From what I understand, you don't like to cross over a line of chalk or a sprinkling of baby powder. Do you realize that it is not fun having baby powder sprinkled all over my kitchen? Although, baby powder is preferable to having you all over the counters.
We've caulked up the spots you use as your special "doors" and bought the nice expensive Terro stuff the internet promises will make you leave us alone. What is with you anyway? Just go away!
I'm seriously too discusted to cook in my kitchen right now and my family menus and budgets are suffering.
Windex kills you right on the spot and I've got plenty of it, but I'm pretty sick of cleaning up trails of your carcasses all over my kitchen. Just eat that sweet smellin' stuff and leave us alone. You have really overstayed your welcome.